Undone (Undisputed #1.5) Read online

  My eyes nearly bug out of my head and I stumble over my words, my mouth unable to keep up with my mind. “Co-Costa Rica? Wh-What the hell?”

  He drops his plate on the counter, the fork clattering loudly, then crosses the narrow space between us and placing his hands on my shoulders. “Relax,” he whispers, his blue eyes peering intently in to mine. “Take a deep breath.”

  I had several meltdowns after Connor’s death, the panic attacks hitting me from almost out of nowhere. My mind would spin in a million directions, while my heart would constrict and my lungs would be rendered incapable of inflating. I’d find myself on the ground, gasping for air, convinced that I was having a heart attack.

  After one particularly bad attack, on our return flight from Vegas no less, Breccan had decided enough was enough. He’d insisted that I go to therapy, and he’d also insisted that he accompany me. While he hadn’t attended every session, he’d come to several and the therapist had taught him a few techniques to help me work through the anxiety.

  It didn’t always stop me from having the breakdowns, but it helped shorten them. More than that, it gave Breccan some control and a way to help me. Something that he so desperately needed during that terrible time.

  Letting my lids drop, I inhale a deep breath in and my head clears. I realize that a surprise trip to Costa Rica is not the end of the world, and the image of us lounging in a tropical paradise for a few days begins to excite me.

  I open my eyes. “Costa Rica, huh? That could be nice.”

  His gaze drops to my mouth when I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, his own lips twitching.

  “You enjoy watching me get worked up, don’t you?” I mutter.

  His eyes lift back to mine, his expression heated. “No, never. But you are pretty sexy when you’re flustered.” He brushes his thumb across my mouth, trailing it along my cheek. “Even sexier when you chew on that bottom lip.”

  The contact, nothing more than a whisper across my skin, causes my belly to melt. He’s touched me countless times, and every one of them has the same effect.

  I smile and roll my eyes, standing on my toes to place a soft kiss on his cheek. His face is rough, the stubble I begged him not to shave scratching my lips. “Always have one thing on your mind.”

  He leans his torso away from me and pops an eyebrow. “Anything on your mind?” One of his hands drops away from my shoulder and slides down my ribs to my hip. Curling his fingers in to my side, he pulls my body flush with his, and makes a show of rolling his straining erection against me.

  Playfully, I push against him. “No! Apparently, we don’t have time for that!”

  His lids droop and he licks his lips, “We always have time for that.”

  I shake my head, “Not today, mister. What are we going to Costa Rica for? And how long are we going to be gone? What about work?” I fire the questions at him rapidly, while still attempting to untangle from his grasp. The longer he presses his hard body against me, the more my resolve begins to crumble. He’s still rolling his hips in to mine as I finally break free and let out an audible sigh of relief.

  He feigns hurt. “Don’t sound so glad to get out of my arms,” he teases. “I’ve already talked to your boss. We’ll only be gone a few days. It’s time to check another item off the list.”

  My brows furrow. “But the next item is writing a comic book.” I gesture toward the living room. “Something I was working on before you sprung this trip on me.”

  He presses his lips together briefly and the gesture causes my stomach to flop. “You’re about to spring something else on me, aren’t you?”

  His eyes flash with worry as he tells me. “We’re gonna swim with dolphins.”

  “What?” I shout. “But that’s not what’s next!”

  My heart begins to pound again, the anxiety I’ve worked so hard to overcome bubbling up.

  He holds his hands up, palm out and says, “Hear me out, Sid.”

  I clamp my mouth shut and nod, trying to calm my galloping pulse.

  He blows out a breath and then continues. “I knew you would freak about going out of order.”

  I lift my eyebrows at him, and he gives a half shrug in apology. “But, it’s been a few months since our last trip. You’ve been swamped at work, stressed about your sister. And the next few items on the list are things we can do at home. Or even do while we complete other items.”

  Despite my pleas to continue checking items off after our meeting with pop star Levee Williams, Breccan had slowed down on the planning. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was worried about me, or if it was because I had, in fact, been swamped at work. But he hadn’t brought the list up in a few months, and neither had I.

  “I am swamped at work. Exactly why I shouldn’t be taking time off right now,” I argue.

  I’d been promoted recently, and with the increase in pay and stature came a ridiculously large workload. Breccan had pleaded with me to quit my job, reminding me that he had more than enough money to take care of us. But he was busy with his gym during the day, and I didn’t want to sit around the house with nothing to do. I needed to stay busy.

  My sister Abby had taken off after Connor’s death, and it was rare that we heard from her, and even rarer that I saw her. It was her method of coping, and I didn’t begrudge her that, even though I missed her fiercely. She’d lost her only child. It wasn’t up to me, to anyone, to decide how she grieved that loss. I figured she was also staying busy, trying to occupy herself. It just so happened to not be here. I understood, but it didn’t always ease the hurt. When I lost Connor, I also lost her.

  “You can miss a couple days of work,” Breccan explains calmly. “It’s not the end of the month, there’s plenty of time for you to catch up when you get back.”

  He’s right, so begrudgingly, I nod. “What about Australia? That’s before the dolphins.”

  He crosses muscular forearms across his chest. “It’s winter there right now. No one wants to go to Australia in the winter.”

  I laugh at his ridiculous logic. “It’s Australia honey, not Antarctica.”

  “Well when did you become the Aussie expert?” he mocks, tugging on the end of my braid.

  “I just don’t understand why we are jumping so far ahead.”

  He pulls me to him. Resting my head against his chest, I hear his heart beat, strong and steady. It relaxes me and I melt in to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

  His chest rumbles. “Just trust me, Sid.”

  I nod into him, inhaling his rich, masculine scent. My face pressed against him, I mumble, “I love you.”

  His arms flex around me, so tight its almost painful, but only for a second before he releases me and takes a step back. “I’m gonna shower so we can going.”

  Tilting my head back, I peer up at him and force a bright smile. “Okay. I’ll pack my bag as soon as I finish eating.”

  He dips his chin and then saunters away, calling over his shoulder, “You could skip breakfast and join me in the shower, you know.”

  I smirk at his back without bothering to reply and turn my attention back to the fridge. A picture of Connor stares back at me.

  It was taken at Connor’s last football game, the one where he injured his kidney. He was suited up, his helmet in one hand braced against his hip. He’d been so excited for that game, his coach telling him that he’d be starting for the first time. I’d snapped the picture as we raced out the door.

  Tracing his smile with my fingertip, I whisper, “How am I supposed to live the rest of my life without you?”

  My eyes begin to well with tears and I swallow hard, determined not to let them fall. My chest aches, the feeling of loss overwhelming me all over again.

  I swallow once more. “I don’t know if I can keep doing it, Con. I don’t know if I can keep going on these adventures without you.” My voice cracks, the tears I wanted to keep at bay spilling over. When I hear the shower turn on, I quit trying to fight it and slide down the cabinets unti
l my ass hits the floor.

  Sobs wrack my body, and I drop my head to my knees. I continue to cry, allowing myself to feel the despair, something my therapist insists is good for me.

  As the tears begin to slow, I twist my head to the left, resting my cheek on my knees. I count my breaths, another technique learned in therapy, when something under the fridge catches my eye.

  The picture that fell earlier is face down, just the corner of it peeking out.

  Carefully, I slide it out of its hiding place and flip it over.

  My heart stops when I see the image of Connor, holding his bucket list in one hand while the other rests on Breccan’s shoulder. Breccan’s got his head thrown back, mouth open in laughter, and Connor’s smile is so broad, his eyes are mere slits on his face.

  “What?” I breathe, staring at the four-by-six image in my hand.

  I wrack my brain, trying desperately to remember ever seeing this photo, but I know that I haven’t. Surely, I’d remember this moment, but I don’t.

  Convinced that my tears have somehow warped my vision, I blink several times to clear my eyes. After the third time, the image remains the same and laughter bubbles up from somewhere deep inside. I laugh so hard, that tears begin to stream down my already wet cheeks. But these tears are full of joy.

  My heart, that was only moments ago aching from sadness and despair, now feels so full of happiness I worry that it will burst.

  Clutching the picture to my chest, I lean my head against the cabinets and look up at the sky. I’m still laughing when I say loudly, “Okay, Connor, I hear you.”

  I pull the picture away from me and gaze at it once more before pushing myself to my feet.

  “Dolphins, huh? They aren’t going to bite me, are they?” I ask no one, as I make my way down the hall, stopping long enough to pull my luggage from one of the closets. “Guess it could be worse. You could’ve requested sharks.”

  CHAPTER Three

  WE ARRIVED IN Costa Rica last night, immediately going to bed, exhausted from the number of plane changes we had to make to get here.

  It’s just after eleven in the morning, and Breccan and I are finishing up breakfast. A breakfast that was probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever eaten. The fruit is fresh, the eggs cooked perfectly, the setting amazing.

  Breccan spared no expense on the trip, booking our own private villa that is almost as big as our house and set directly in front of the most beautiful beach I’ve ever seen.

  Early this morning, I awoke after sleeping more soundly than I had in days and slipped out of the bed. After pulling on a silk robe, courtesy of the resort, I made my way outside, intent on walking along the surf. But when I heard the sounds of howler monkeys coming from the jungle behind me, I changed directions, walking along the edge of the trees. All around me, the sounds of wildlife filled the air, just waking up from their slumber as well, and I breathed deeply, knowing I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

  I take the last sip of my mimosa, and sigh, sad to see the glass empty of the freshly-squeezed juice and champagne combination then ask Breccan, “So, what’s on the agenda for the day?”

  He looks up from the magazine he’s been scanning and waggles his eyebrows, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  Leaning back in the plush chair, I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my eyes.

  He sets the magazine aside and leans across the table, easily reaching me, and tugs one of my arms free. “You said you trusted me, remember?”

  Begrudgingly, I nod.

  “Then stop asking questions,” he teases, squeezing the fingers he’s laced in his.

  I huff and then purse my lips together.

  Breccan stands and pulls me up with him, ushering me toward the bedroom. “Go get changed.”

  “I would, but since you won’t tell me what we’re doing today, I don’t know what to wear!” I snap playfully.

  Once inside the bedroom, I perch on the edge of the bed and watch as Breccan riffles through my suitcase. The perfectly folded clothes become a jumbled mess, but I don’t say anything, amused by the intensity with which he searches for just the right thing.

  “Jesus, woman. I told you a couple days. There’s enough in here to last a month!” he grumbles, as he continues to sort through the clothing.

  He is not wrong, I did overpack for the trip. But a girl needs options for every day. I can’t be expected to just bring one outfit and hope that it’s the right one.

  Breccan finally stops wrinkling all my clothes and holds out a bikini and cover up.

  I push to my feet, but instead of reaching for the items in his outstretched hand, I make a slow show of loosening the robe belt tied around my waist.

  His eyebrows wrinkle and I dart my tongue out, licking my lips, and I let the soft material slip from my shoulders and pool on the floor at my feet.

  Beneath the robe is a pale blue camisole nightie with a deep v-cut neck that hits me mid-thigh. The hem is lined with lace and split on each side to nearly my hip. It’s comfortable, but more than that, it’s sexy.

  I’ve been so overwhelmed with life the last few months that I haven’t been giving Breccan all the attention he deserves, so I packed nothing but sexy sleepwear in the hopes it would give me the boost I needed.

  As I slide a finger under the spaghetti strap at my shoulder, Breccan’s confusion vanishes and his eyes heat. He stands rooted in place, unmoving as I continue my slow striptease.

  When the gown slips from my breasts and slides down my narrow hips, Breccan drops the clothes he’s picked out for me to wear and stalks over to me. He scoops me from my feet, and I let out a squeak as he tosses me on the bed.

  In the blink of an eye, he sheds his clothes and, without a word, crawls up the bed until he’s hovering over me.

  “Fuck me, Sidney, but you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He murmurs, pressing wet kisses into the curve of my neck.

  I arch in to him, my nipples brushing his bare chest. I turn my head and whisper in his ear, “No, fuck me.”

  With a loud groan, he thrusts into me, and wastes no time doing exactly what I ask.

  AN HOUR LATER, Breccan and I climb aboard a boat docked right in front of our villa and we’re handed large glasses of margarita and welcomed aboard by a man who introduces himself as Saul. He points me to the front of the boat, but Breccan hangs back, whispering with the stranger. Breccan catches me eyeing them suspiciously, so he turns his back toward me before continuing his quiet conversation.

  A moment later Saul claps him on the back and Breccan makes his way to my side. After we settle in to the bench on the front of the boat, we take off, destination unknown.

  “Know him?” I ask lightly.

  Breccan’s only response is a quick shake of his head.

  I squint at him, but decide not to press the issue. I settle in to the seat and sip my drink, a drink that is so delicious, it’s ruined all future margaritas for me.

  As the boat cruises the water, Saul points out various landmarks from his position behind the steering wheel.

  Breccan wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close in to his side, but doesn’t speak for the duration of the ride.

  The boat finally pulls in to a cove and docks, and Saul helps me off.

  “I could have ridden on that boat all day.” I beam at Breccan.

  He smiles back at me, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. When he doesn’t say anything, I frown. “You okay, honey?”

  He dips his chin, but still doesn’t speak. After placing his hand on the small of my back, he leads me toward a small, brightly painted hut with a big sign that reads: Dolphin Encounter.

  My heart begins to gallop as I realize that we’re about to check off another item on the list. I glance up at Breccan, but he’s not paying me any attention, his eyes distant as he stares at the building.

  I swallow hard as we reach the counter.

  “Good morning!” the attendant says brightly. “You must be Mister Car
lisle.”

  Her face gives her away, and I know she’s resisting the urge to check him out. I can’t blame her, I find myself fighting that urge all the time. A few months ago, I would have been jealous, worried that Breccan would appreciate the attention. But he made himself very clear on the plane, a lesson I’d actually enjoyed learning, so I don’t let the jealousy creep in.

  Turning her head toward me, she keeps her friendly grin in place and says, “And you must be Miss O’Neil.” Coming around the counter, she continues chattering, her eyes never leaving me to wander back to Breccan. My lips tip up as she says, “We are so excited to have you here. We’ve got a full day for you planned. We’ll be starting with jet-ski rides. We’ll guide you out to a coral reef where you will get to snorkel and see the marine life our coast has to offer.”

  My eyes dart to Breccan and he’s smiling at me, proudly. Raising my eyebrows, I mouth the word wow to him as she continues.

  “After that, we’ll come back here for a light lunch and then do a zip-line tour through the jungle.” She gestures behind us at the lush vegetation and a thrill shoots through me. “Our guests always see howler monkeys that come out to greet you as you zip past them, forty feet in the air.” My eyes widen at the thought of being that high above the ground, but I don’t have time to dwell on it.

  “And finally, we will end the day with our dolphins. We’ve got eight here in the cove that love the interaction with people. I can’t wait for you to meet Margie, she’s probably my favorite.”

  When she finishes, she finally looks at Breccan and gives him a quick wink. His lips press together in a firm line and tersely he says, “Let’s get started.”

  With a quick shake of her head, the attendant turns toward the jet skis.

  When Breccan begins to follow her, I grab his arm and whisper, “You sure you’re okay? You were kind of short with her, and she was very nice.”

  His eyes narrow and he clips, “I’m fine. Stop worrying!”

  “Uh! What’s your problem?”

  He shoves a hand through his hair, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Guess I’m just tired.”